WEEK SEVEN

Still on my 'Staycation' and drawing a ton of animals, and drinking far too much caffeine.

 I have a feeling this is my spirit guide. Taking me on a journey, showing me

the truths of the universe.  I was just sitting eating some pudding and minding

my beeswax and then... BAM! This guys snatches me up and out like Aladdin

and his magic carpet.

 More animal reference material making its way into the warm ups.

 Want a dusty Milkshake? ..But hey... they are still better than the

Milkshakes at McDonald's.

 For a long time, I was putting away a pot and a half a day. I had to stop.

My mental state was hanging by a thread, and the doctor had some feedback

as well, so I cut way back. But every so often it starts creeping back up

 to unhealthy levels. And while on Vacation, left alone and unchecked like

an invasive biological alien species...I let the coffee oz pile back up

 I was pretty tired and delirious when I did this one. Or coming down

from being out of my mind on coffee.

 Never Covet another mans Ice Cream.

Even if that other man is you.

A few days before my vacation was up, I received an email that I was to get

a job review upon my return. So for three days this stressed me out to no end

I toiled over this idea for three days and it made me physically Ill.

WEEK SIX

I FINALLY took a vacation from work on this week. I went to the library and checked out about 30 books on animals and wildlife and locked myself in my apartment and just drew the entire time. It WAS AWESOME.

Here is a link to a small sample of what I did, alone in the darkness of my home: http://steelmerkin.blogspot.com/2011/10/harpy-eagles-and-other-animals.html

The J Henry J State Fair.  You must be 'This' hairy and fat of stature

to ride the rides. But if you cannot ride, Have fun at the heavy petting zoo,

or the have some hand over hand spun Cotton Candy. But Avoid the

Clowns.  ...Avoid them at all costs...

I put in a lot of hours in at work, and this summer was particularly

stressful and busy.  I did a couple weeks in June that were 120 hours

easily, and 80 hours a week was the average until the end of August

(no exaggeration) and when I was cleared to finally take vacation,

my heart grew three sizes that day and I may have started lactating

from sheer joy.  I drew this  standing up, dancing singing in my kitchen

(no exaggeration)... Then I collapsed and slept for 27 hours straight.

I call this one. 'ThoughtProccess."

Noticeable body transformations are starting to happen at this time.

Healthy Diet and Exercise actually is WORKING!

Weird I know...

From Right to Left:

Little guy on the right, is my Trouble making mischievous side.

Second from right is the Guy that is just happy to be there and is

willing to do whatever he needs to do to help and make people

Happy. Middle right is the Grumpy bad attitude Wilson, the super

Jerk, and is a punk teenager and really, really hates going to

Costco because of the people who just leave their shopping carts

all willy nilly blocking the isle just so they can get to their precious

fucking sample tray of microwaved frozen burrito pizza nibs. 

Moving on. Left Middle is My feminine side, and as you can tell

she is quite the looker.  Second from Left is more of what my daily self

is, Father, Provider, hairy... and Far left, is my Werewolf side,

the dark primal side that hopefully no one has to cross unless they

truly deserve to.

Who is the real Puppet? Who is the real Weirdo? And why am I wearing a tie?

These answers we may never learn.

Ok. I have been doing this hardcore Nerd thing, where I have been going

though all of the Friday the 13th Movies, and cataloging Jason Vorhees's

Kill counts and his highly creative weapons of choice. (the Machete is

definitely 'Go To' killing device, followed closely by the Meat Cleaver and

Butcher Knife.) And when I got to Jason X (part 10) I had not seen it since

I was 15. And wow. IT IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE WORST MOVIE

I HAVE EVER SEEN. EVER. I would have gotten more out of just hitting

myself in the face with a snow shovel. A Snow shovel to the grill would

have made more sense... a lot more sense than this awful movie.

WEEK FIVE

Week five. In This week I started  P90X work out systems.

Good lord. I still hurt from the very first workout. 

 I am very graceful. Like an underwater bean bag in slow motion.

 On my diet, I eat a lot of beans. And since you are what you eat....

 Also on my diet, I try and eat as many veggies as I can at dinner.

And I choke them down by the basket. But I always feel like this after.

 The good folks at P90X suggest that you be already participating in

some form of a work out program before starting P90X. Sweet baby Jeebus

they are right. I could barely walk, or get out of bed or brush my teeth,

or use the bathroom. I will slowly EASE my way into the workouts.

 not sure what this one means. The self portrait is the little

guy in the crotch of the tree.  

 The North American North West Big Bellied Breasted

Puget Sound Back Butt Bird. It makes dusty, dusty omelets.

There are many meanings to this one, none

of which I fully understand.

WEEK FOUR

week four. Started a diet on week four. And wow, after eating sugars and sodas and drinking cakes and cookies for  the last ten years... The withdrawals I experienced  were awful. Every headache I have ever had and will ever have were rolled into one three day long headache. But, eventually it passed. And My diet continues, with high success I must say.

 I was watching this TV show on the Discovery Channel about the menace of

Wild Boars in America. They are destructive bad piggies. And they can get HUGE,

and as mean as a grizzly bear.

 We got fancy new one cup coffee maker at work. It is awesome. BUT. When all

of the unflavored coffee runs out, the Women in the office all buy and enjoy the awful

flavored coffees. Double Pumpkin Vanilla Spice French roast, Toffee Vanilla Crunch

Breakfast Blend, Caramel Vanilla Dirt Cafe, Apple Cider Vanilla old Boots Blend,

Turpentine Vanilla Colombian Bold. etc etc...

 Wilson and the Sphere of Omens. Sadly the Sphere of Omens

did not have high hopes for My Kansas City Chiefs. And it was right,

They were beat down pretty good by the San Diego Chargers 20 -17.

(it was not as close as the score indicates.)

 So, this is clearly Photo real. But I assure you it is only a drawing. This is a reminder

of where I started before my diet and exercise. I am tired of my knees hurting from

my over size Hocks and swaying Front Butt.

 This was the best I could do to represent the headache

I was experiencing while attempting to draw with

the headache I was experiencing.

 This is a representation of what I may look like after the

first of the year after three months of serious diet and exercise.

I may become and underwear Model for Sears and Roebucks.

I am a glass half full kind of guy, and this is what my eternal optimism looks like.

WEEK THREE

Nothing here quite as shocking as the end of week two, but some weird stuff at least. Well... not much else is as shocking as that. But records are made to be broken.

Renders at work and deadlines put the screws to me on this day I remember

quite well. And we have... we had, a Foosball table, and it ws awesome.

We were taking quite a few breaks and getting some serious Foosball on.

I think that is why it was taken away. But on this night, my team took every

game. But the failing renders and crashes were taking little bits of my soul.

 Ice cream: The forbidden Fruit.

 This was the day that my Father and other members of my family,

went to spread my Grandfathers ashes up at the family cabin. I was

so bummed out that I could not go... but I needed to be at work.

BUT, if anybody would have understood I could not be there because

of work, It would have been Grandpa Lynn. 

Along the way sometime ago, I was given a bottle of whiskey from

Grandpas house. 'A little Something Special.' (google it) the bottle is

older than I am, and it is indeed something special. But now it tastes like

bad cologne and kerosene.  But I had one to the Memory of one of the

greatest men to ever walk the earth: Lynn Grove Hardin.

During these self portraits, Dr. Ciacco and Andy were also

partaking in a week of drawings, Andy had to draw tigers for

a week, and Brett was doing self portraits as well. And Brett

was talking a little trash telling us we were lagging behind because

he had finished his first that evening. And Andy fired right back with

"Tiger is gonna come sing opera to your Mother. You better buckle up Chucky!"

I have not laughed as hard in quite some time. Thank you Andy.

At work, we drink a lot of coffee, and going on a coffee run is a sacred event.

And we got into coming up with all kinds of colorful things to ask if we wanted

to go on a coffee run. 'Throw Java in our Mouth Holes' is a crowd favorite.

Oh yeah. I grant wishes. 

Not having the luxury of Top Ramen as a Child (My Mother would never

allow such things, the only times as a kid I EVER got to have Ramen, was

 at my dear friend Sully's house) Now that I am an adult and I make grocery

shopping decisions, I regularly purchase and worship Top Ramen.

Take Heed.

WEEK TWO

Week two, where the wheels came off of the weird. And How. I made it an entire week, sketching every night at this point, an accomplishment I had not done since my time in College.  Again, these are merely warm ups for a longer drawing session. BUT. Sometimes more time and effort would go in... as you may find out.  If you have a weak stomach, or are easily offended. Turn back now. ...But if you have made it this far... I will pray for your soul.





Bean Bag with a Drawing arm. Andy went to the ComiCon

and found that Comic book artist's must sacrifice much to obtain

pure drawing skill. One of those things is physical activity. By drawing

 that much, you eventually become just a bean bag with a drawing arm. 

I want that skill.





Well, after a week of drawing every night. I collected on my Coke.

It was the best coke I ever had.  






This is the turning point. Testing the waters of weird. Not quite

sure what this one means, but I have some guesses.





Doughnuts at work usually go down two at a time.  I have what doctors call

'A bit of a weight problem.'





Wally Dinn Dinn, man with the Chin. Name comes

from the mind of Dr. Ciacco





A Fungi Forrest of Wilsons.  Be wary of cool dark over-caffeinated establishments, 

or you may find a run of these... and I am not so sure that is a good thing. 

Yes, those are Just Mushrooms.







Ok. Here it is. This came from watching the NAT GEO channel.

A village in the Amazon hunt Monkeys, but sometimes, they keep

orphaned baby monkeys, and they have women in the village who

breast feed them along side the children. This woman had a babe on one

 teat, and a monkey on the other. And that image was burned into my

psyche.... forever. Just as this image will stay with you.



WEEK ONE

So here it all began. A simple task put forth by Dr. Ciacco, to simply draw a self portrait to warm up. I had not been drawing at all. And I was really struggling to even start. I would sit down with my pencil in hand and just stare at a blank piece of high quality sketchbook paper. And nothing would happen. The spark had died. All I found dear and awesome in drawing had dried up and left me... and I died a little inside each time I opened my sketchbook. And then one fateful night, Dr. Ciacco told me to get up off my rump, and draw a self portrait. "You have two minutes to draw...It doesn't have to be good, just draw it." And I did it. After telling Dr. Ciacco about my drawing and how good it felt, he offered to guy me a coke if I dew a self portrait for a week straight. I took him up on his offer... And what happens next can only be described by books found inside Hogwarts. In other words, Magic. Pure weird ass Magic. It unlocked something inside of me, and I have used these self portraits as warm up every night now for near 70 nights in a row. and I often find myself drawing for a few hours at a time, and it feels good.

But I must warn you, these get pretty weird. Some will make you laugh, some will leave you puzzled and most may make you cringe.  You cannot UN see what you will see here. You have been warned.

 Here it is. The one that started it all. As you can see

I was pretty down and out about drawing. But after

I drew this, my Brain puked all of the pent up stuff

and I ended up drawing for FOUR HOURS into the wee

wee hours of the morning.. on a work night. I was so tired,

...but I felt so ALIVE!

 I drink alot of Coffee. Sometimes with a shirt on.

 The little ball of Goo is actually the self portrait.

 My mom thought this was one of the funniest things

she has ever seen.

 just a little message to Dr. Ciacco

 I love animal crackers. And with a three year old in the

house, we seem to have an endless supply of them.

Dr. Musser was kind enough to lend me his "Human
Anatomy for Artists" by Elliot Goldfinger. This is my thankyou
card to Andy. Thank you Andy.

 

I don't have ice cream that often. I would like it more often.